


constant knot

by CaptainButts



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Past SuChen, Suho is a single dad, chanyeol and baek are pretty much married, kris is a teacher, lapslock, suho and kris are both really embarrassing and tragic, suho is an office worker, tao and kai are babies!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 15:28:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8495245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainButts/pseuds/CaptainButts
Summary: “my pants are on the floor, aren’t they?”junmyeon looked down at the shorts pooled at his feet and nods slowly. “yup.”he sighed and looked down at his own shorts, turning a bit red as he leans down to pull them up.  junmyeon can’t help but laugh, “at least you had the apron on.”kris rolled his eyes, “this is the third time this week.”“it’s monday, kris-ssi.”junmyeon gets a look from the taller. “i know.”





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bdock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bdock/gifts).



> How much would you bet  
> That if I tried hard enough  
> I would spontaneously combust  
> I wish I could disappear  
> and run away from all of my fears  
> I think I'm coming undone
> 
>  
> 
> So stay the night  
> I promise that I won't bite  
> 'Cause without you there  
> I don't think I could close my eyes
> 
>  
> 
> How do I end up this way  
> A constant knot in my gut  
> Tied with uncertainty and with lust  
> A classic case I suppose  
> A haunted man who can't out run his ghosts  
> They're in my skin and my bones
> 
>  
> 
> So stay the night  
> I promise that I won't bite  
> 'Cause without you there  
> I don't think I could close my eyes
> 
>  
> 
> And now I sing...

 

he’s a little bit jaded. 

 

kim junmyeon was like every other average man who sold his soul to the corporate world in order to survive: tired. it was just another day in the office, except now he was desperately trying to get his work done before he had to pick up his kids. he couldn’t leave them waiting at their school again, not after the whines tao had given him last time, while jongin sent him a small, sad smile. 

he overheard them talking one day, jongin explaining to tao why his dad never seemed to have time for them anymore. “it’s fine because papa’s working hard for us, hyung. don’t be upset.” 

tao sighed, flopping onto his bed, “but kai, we barely ever see him anymore!” there was a pause, before tao asked, “does he still love us?”

his heart nearly broke at the fact that his son even _ thought  _ that. which is why he was making the effort to be there for them more. 

he glanced at the clock nervously, hoping he could finish the his work on time before his boss got there and piled more paperwork for him to peruse. 

_ if i leave now, i’ll be there right on time.  _ he smirked, packing up his bags before the clock could strike five o’clock. 

… 

he didn’t make it on time. he cursed the city traffic as he made his way to the elementary school parking lot. and usually, tao and jongin would be the only two left by the time he arrived, but this time was different. there was someone with them. that someone was holding his son in his arms. 

junmyeon quickly pulled over, getting out of his car in a rush to see what had happened. 

jongin noticed him first, eyes going wide with fear. tao was in the tall man’s arms, sobbing into the stranger’s shoulder. 

the man looked at him, and suho. well, suho was quite taken aback by him--he towered over junmyeon, with high cheekbones and a narrow face. his features were all so strong. suho paled when he noticed his son’s leg all scratched up. “tao, baby, what happened?” junmyeon asked, taking jongin’s hand in his and stepping toward whom he assumed was a teacher.

“he was playing on the side with that one,” the man nodded at jongin, who hid behind his father, “and was pushed down. there was a bit of a scuffle, but it’s not too bad, right champion?” 

 

tao looked up at the man with shining, watery eyes. he nodded quickly, then ducked his head back into the crook of his neck. the man let out a hearty laugh. 

“he’s fine. you must be kim junmyeon-ssi?” he asked, reaching a hand out to shake junmyeon’s hand, which he took back hesitantly. this man didn’t look like a teacher. the stranger must have known what he was thinking when he eyed junmyeon quizzically. 

“i’m kris, i’m a teacher, but i also run the after school programs here. we mainly play basketball with the kids, though.”

junmyeon nodded, slightly embarrassed that he hadn’t been the one to take care of his sons. “thank you for watching over them--” he gives kris a tight, small smile, “--i just. i really appreciate it.”

 

kris’ face doesn’t change much, he’s pretty stoic, junmyeon notices. junmyeon makes an effort to take tao from kris’ grasp, but tao shakes his head. he mutters something in chinese, something his father ex-husband probably taught him. junmyeon’s eyebrows furrowed, wondering what it meant when kris’ eyes narrowed, “tao, that’s not nice,” he scolds lightly. “your dad was really worried about you.”

“can’t i stay with you?” tao wailed as kris handed him off to junmyeon, who was about ready to have a mental breakdown. the conversation that jongin and tao had together still fresh in his memory. 

“no, your dad will miss you,” kris chastised, looking at junmyeon with clear pity in his eyes. junmyeon said nothing, taking tao’s hand, who reached up and took it reluctantly. “i’m sorry, i have to get back to work. yixing is too much of a pushover to deal with the kids alone, who knows what’ll happen,” he said to junmyeon now, nodding at tao and jongin before turning back to the classroom. 

jongin and tao were ushered into the car, junmyeon buckling them up in silence as jongin looked at him with concern lacing his face. “are you okay, papa?”

junmyeon didn’t voice his answer, but he smiled at jongin and gave him a nod before shutting the door and hopping into the front seat. it was a quiet drive back. 

...

“papa isn’t happy,” he overheard jongin say to tao when he was about to start cleaning up the mess from dinner.

tao huffed, “is it because dad left?” junmyeon heard a slap, and rushed into their room to see a wailing tao and an upset jongin holding back tears. 

“jongin, what’d you do?” junmyeon asked, assessing the pink mark on tao’s cheek. 

“he made you sad, papa! and...he brought up daddy.”

junmyeon sighed, “jongin, you can’t just hit your brother like that!” jongin’s lip quivered, and giant, angry tears came rushing out. “go outside for a second.”

“but--”

“go, please.”

jongin’s shoulders slumped and he trudged dramatically out of his and tao’s shared bedroom. 

tao was whimpering on his bed, sniffling up the snot that was threatening to come out of his nostrils. junmyeon knelt down in front of him. “tell me what’s going on, tao.”

tao was silent for a moment, before looking up through his thick lashes. “i’m scared you won’t love us anymore.”

junmyeon’s chest hurt. “why do you think that?” 

tao shifted, snot finally dripping from his nose as he hiccuped, “because daddy doesn’t love us anymore.”

junmyeon grimaced. it wasn’t that he and his ex were on bad terms necessarily, or that his ex wasn’t in their lives at all--it was just that he was so far, and so busy. he reached into his pocket, took out his phone, and called him. it rang once before he picked up. 

“hey suho, i’m kinda busy right now. what’s up?”

his heart throbbed at the nickname before he said, “jongdae, tao thinks you don’t love him anymore.” which was followed by a series of sputters and slammed doors, before he ordered junmyeon to put tao on the phone. tao ends up sobbing harder, an influx of tears coming out as he tells his dad just how much he misses him. jongin burst through the doors, also in tears, and tries to wrestle the phone out of tao’s hands. junmyeon can’t help but giggle, as he grabbed the phone and put it on speaker. 

chen was chastising them for not believing he missed them, and he promised he’d visit soon. by the time they finished the call, tao and jongin’s eyes were red and puffy. junmyeon looked at the clock, noting it was almost time for bed. 

he pushed them into the bathroom to get ready, and went back outside. he let his body slump against the door and a defeated sigh escaped his lips. he missed chen. he did. he didn’t know where he went wrong, completely blindsided when his husband had come up to him one day with the divorce papers in hand. 

_ “it’s suffocating here. i need a change.” _

he almost begged him to stay. but he didn’t. jongdae had his own life to live, hell. he didn’t even want to have kids until junmyeon asked. in the end jongdae offered to take one of the boys, but separating the two was out of the question. 

they were on good terms, however. junmyeon understood that jongdae was a free spirit; being tied down to someone wasn’t something he ever wanted or expected. they talk from time to time, and after each goodbye, junmyeon felt a little bit emptier. 

…

he tucked them into bed after reading jongin’s favorite story. 

“and the tree loved the boy?” they always asked.

“and the tree loved the boy,” junmyeon always concluded, leaning over to jongin on his forehead, before moving over to kiss tao goodnight. tao was pretty silent after talking to jongdae, and as junmyeon moved over to turn his light off, tao gripped his sleeve.

“‘m sorry, papa,” he murmured. 

junmyeon smiled, opening his arms for tao to come into. “i’ll always love you and jonginnie, no matter what.” 

… 

he dropped them off at their school the next day pretty early, but this time, he got down with them. he walked them to their classroom, both of them bouncing by his side excitedly. 

“oh, kim junmyeon-ssi,” kris said, eyebrows shooting up as tao and jongin ran toward him. there are a few kids behind him, tugging at his clothes to get his attention, but his eyes are trained on junmyeon. “i haven’t seen you here in the morning before, is something wrong?” he’s wearing a paint-stained apron with basketball shorts underneath and a little boy (whose face is turning particularly red from being ignored) tugged hard enough for the shorts to drop to the floor.  kris coughed, awkwardly. “my pants are on the floor, aren’t they?”  

junmyeon looked down at the shorts pooled at his feet and nods slowly. “yup.”

he sighed and looked down at his own shorts, turning a bit red as he leans down to pull them up.  junmyeon can’t help but laugh, “at least you had the apron on.”

kris rolled his eyes, “this is the third time this week.”

“it’s monday, kris-ssi.”

junmyeon gets  _ a look _ from the taller. “i know.” kris turned to the child who had assaulted him, giving them a warning. the boy’s eyes widened in fear at the mention of a time out, then bounded toward one of the other instructors in the classroom. 

junmyeon watched tao and jongin for a moment, the two engrossed in a rather serious conversation with one of their classmates about which pokemon they think is the coolest. he smiled at them when they look his way and they wave wildly at him despite being just a few feet away. he’s interrupted again when kris asks him a question. 

“oh, i wanted to ask about your after school program? i was wondering if i could enroll tao and jongin in it.”

kris nodded, “yeah, of course,” he contemplated this for a second before adding, “it’s only tuesday and thursdays though.” he must see the distress on junmyeon’s face. “if you need someone to watch them for a while, i can.”

 

junmyeon shook his head, “i couldn’t possibly ask that of you--”

kris shrugged his shoulders, “i’m going to be watching my nephew, sehun anyway,” he gestured over to the straight faced boy who’s talking to his sons. _ of course they’re related _ , junmyeon thought, a giggle escaping his lips.

he said lightly, almost jokingly, “no offense, but i don’t even know you.”

kris’ lips broke into a small smile, “you could get to know me.”

and he’s pretty sure they’re flirting now, which… was. okay. it’s okay. he hasn’t flirted in years, but he can do it. his heart started to speed up, and he almost forgot to breathe, but he nodded and hoped it came off as casual. “what makes you think i want to know you?”

kris raised a brow, “everyone wants to know me.”

a scoff is heard from a few feet away, and another teacher comes up, a child propped on his hip. “kris, that’s the biggest lie i have ever heard in my whole life.”

“baekhyun, aren’t you supposed to be teaching right now?” kris asked, face turning an even deeper shade of red. 

baekhyun shook his head, “late start, remember?” 

“i’m baekhyun,” he leaned on kris’ shoulder, “and don’t be fooled. he acts like he’s cool but he’s literally a noodle.”

junmyeon snorted, “oh?” he looks at kris, who’s staring down at his paint-covered shoes, muttering something about telling chanyeol how he’s being slandered. 

baekhyun rolled his eyes, “tell chanyeol, i dare you. it’s not like he won’t be balls deep in me later.”

“i genuinely hate you, and quit saying that shit in front of the kids.”

a few gasps came from a few kids standing close to them, and then suddenly a whole army of children attacked him, chanting for him to be put in time out.

“you can’t put me in time out, i’m your teacher.” baekhyun lead the kids in this rebellion, and junmyeon watched from the corner, laughing as the class forced kris into the corner for breaking one of their sacred rules. 

a few minutes pass, before junmyeon realized he had to leave for work soon. he walked over to kris, who sat in the corner facing the wall rather dejectedly.

“if you could watch them today, that’d be amazing,” he whispered to kris, who apparently hadn’t heard him coming. 

he seemed to freeze up, but he whispered back, “i’m not allowed to talk to anyone when i’m in the corner.”

junmyeon hummed, borrowing a crayon and a piece of paper from a little girl at a nearby table. he wrote down his phone number and slid the paper over to kris. 

“i’d very much like to get to know you,” he said, before making his way over to say goodbye to his sons. 

he kissed them and left, turning his head to catch kris staring at him. 

his heart fluttered. 

…  
  


that arrangement progressed for a few weeks, which turned to months, and by this time junmyeon was picking tao and jongin up from kris’ house nearly every day. and sometimes they all stayed a little bit longer, the five of them gathering on kris’ couch to watch a movie. tonight was zootopia, because it was sehun’s favorite movie of all time. 

“i’ve watched seven movies, and this is the best one,” sehun concluded. tao and jongin gaped in awe, both equally excited to watch the animated film. junmyeon meant to take them to watch this movie when it came out, but he remembered how he was too busy with work. that, piled with the divorce going on it was nearly impossible to have any leisure time. he tensed up a bit, but kris rested a reassuring hand on his thigh, squeezing it a little. “you okay?” he asked in a low tone, as the boys made a fort on the floor to be closer to the screen.

it was then that junmyeon noted it was just the two of them on the couch. he tapped his foot against the ground anxiously, “yeah. i’m okay.”

kris didn’t buy it, gesturing for him to come to the kitchen. 

“what’s wrong?”

junmyeon’s eyes began to water, “i’m a bad dad.”

kris’ eyebrows furrowed, “what? how?” 

junmyeon sat down at the kitchen counter, carding his fingers through his hair as kris sits down next to him. “i feel like i’m missing out on so much in their lives,” he admits, “i don’t want them to hate me. i’m trying so hard to provide for them and---” 

“that statement alone proves that you’re a great parent,” kris cuts him off, “you actually want to be apart of their lives and you’re doing your best to give them the best life they can have.”

“it’s hard.” junmyeon cried into his hands, “i feel selfish saying this, but i haven’t had any time to myself in years.”

kris made a noise of frustration. “there’s nothing selfish about that. if you’re too busy taking care of your kids, then who’s taking care of you?” he leaned in closer to junmyeon, and wiped his tears with his fingers. “don’t be afraid to depend on others once in awhile. being a parent is tough, but you don’t have to bear the stress alone, y’know?”

junmyeon scoffed, “who would want to help someone like me?”

kris rolled his eyes, then surged forward to capture junmyeon’s lips. “don’t be stupid,” he whispered against junmyeon’s lips. junmyeon screams internally, jaw going slack as kris moved forward again, lips pressing softly to his. “i’m here for you.” 

a cough comes from the background, and kris and junmyeon turn to see three pairs of tiny eyes staring back at them. “are you two going to make a babies now?” sehun asked in monotone.

junmyeon let out a yelp, pushing kris away. “kids, don’t look!” kris snorted, letting out a chuckle at junmyeon’s flushed face. 

…  
  


when they’re driving back, tao asked him, “are you and kris-hyung in love yet?”

junmyeon is startled by this.  _ it’s too early to tell, _ he wanted to say. “you’ll just have to wait and see,” he said instead.

tao groaned, but seemed pretty happy. “i hope you’re in love. i want him to be with you, me, and nini forever.”

_ yeah, me too. _

…  
  


“you two have fun, alright?” baekhyun said, trying to push the junmyeon and kris out the door. it was their first official date without the kids, and kris went as far as to ask baekhyun and his fiance, chanyeol, to watch them for junmyeon. chanyeol smirked at the two of them, motioning for junmyeon to give him a hug. kris smacked chanyeol’s hand, as the giant elf attempted to slip a pack of condoms into junmyeon’s back pocket. 

kris smacked chanyeol upside the head, as the latter snickered. 

they’re about to step out, when they see a car pull up into junmyeon’s driveway. 

junmyeon’s blood runs cold, as jongdae came out. confusion is written all over kris’ face as jongdae ran up to junmyeon and engulfed him in a hug. “suho!” he said loudly.

(“who the fuck is that?” baekhyun asked, and chanyeol, sensing the tension, coughed. “this is awkward...”)

“jongdae,” junmyeon said, reluctantly hugging his ex-husband back. “you didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“yeah, i got back from beijing earlier than i expected, so i thought i’d drop by and see our boys.”

kris stiffened next to him, and junmyeon shimmies out of jongdae’s grasp, to which his ex raised his brow at. 

kris possessively placed a hand on suho’s hip. 

“oh,” jongdae mumbled. “i’m sorry, i probably should have asked before i came here and made an ass of myself,” he laughed awkwardly. 

and from behind come little screams of delight emit from behind chanyeol and baekhyun.

“daddy!” they yelled, running toward jongdae as he knelt down to pick jongin and tao both up. kris’ eye twitched at the way jongdae’s arm muscles flexed, and junmyeon tried to ease his boyfriend by rubbing his thumb soothingly over kris’ hand.

“are you guys going to leave now?” jongdae asked, almost nervously. 

junmyeon opened his mouth to respond, but kris answered instead. “nah, i’m gonna get going. you two probably have a lot to catch up on.”

junmyeon scrunched his brows, leaning in to mutter, “it’s fine, we can still--”

“you should stay.”

“kris--”

“stay, please,” he said. baekhyun and chanyeol bow slightly to jongdae, and they ushered themselves awkwardly out the house, a whining sehun trailing behind them.

kris doesn’t look at junmyeon as he drove away. 

he thought his heart broke a little.

…  
  


“so, that guy…” jongdae started, after they’d tucked tao and jongin into bed.

“kris,” junmyeon corrected.  

“kris,” he started, testing out the name on his tongue. “are you guys together?”

junmyeon knows this is going to be a long conversation. he’s already tired. “why does it matter, chen?” he asks, the nickname slipping out easily. he curses at himself as he watches the shy smile work its way onto jongdae’s lips. 

“i don’t know, i mean…” jongdae nudges him with his knuckles, “you’re important to me. i don’t want you to think you’re not important anymore.”

he’s used to being the calm, responsible one. he really is. but he can’t be, not anymore. anger swelled up in junmyeon. “you don’t get to do this.”

“what--”

junmyeon lets it all out, all the years of buildup finally spewing from his lips. “you  _ left _ me. you left  _ us _ ,” he motioned wildly at the surrounding space, “here. while you were god knows where. you can’t just…” junmyeon knew he was crying now. “you can’t just come back like this and expect me to still love you every time.”

jongdae looked taken aback, “i didn’t know you felt this way, that’s...that’s not what i thought i was doing?”

“i can’t do this, you can’t just leave and come back whenever you want. if you want to be in their lives, you have to be constant, or you can’t be there at all.”

jongdae pondered a bit, then suddenly he nodded, resigned. “i still love you, you know?”

“shut the fuck up,” junmyeon whispered and jongdae flinched at the harshness in his tone.

“i’m sorry, i just... tell me what you want me to do.” his voice was near pleading.

junmyeon looked at him, and even then with tear-stained cheeks, he gave an aura of confidence--and in that moment, jongdae realized that he’d lost something so incredibly precious.

something he’d never get back. 

…  
  


he and kris hadn’t spoken in a few days. kris had been avoiding him like the plague, ignoring his calls and texts, and have baekhyun and chanyeol answer the door when he went to pick up tao and jongin. 

he sighed, wondering what he could do to fix it. he confided in jongdae, who was staying in his guest room until he found a proper living situation. 

“you should surprise him at work,” jongdae suggested over a midnight bowl of cereal, “it’s romantic.” 

junmyeon stared at him blankly. “your idea of romance is taking a shit in public while someone holds your hand and watches to see if anyone is looking or not.”

jongdae laughed, “i still can’t believe you agreed to do that.”

junmyeon sighed, letting his head hit his kitchen counter. “i’ll do that. thanks, i guess.”

“if things don’t work out with kris,” jongdae trailed off, reaching out to touch junmyeon’s arm, “i’m always on the market.” 

junmyeon snatched his arm back, “i will literally shit all over you in your sleep if you suggest that again.”

jongdae shrugged, “worth a shot.”

…  
  


he took jongdae’s advice and goes to the elementary school after talking to baekhyun and chanyeol.

“i don’t know if you should see him...he’s been so sad since that day, hyung,” chanyeol frowned. “he’s convinced you still love your ex.”

“i swear, it was a misunderstanding.” junmyeon groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes in frustration.

baekhyun scoffed, “really, you sure about that?” 

junmyeon narrowed his eyes, “i didn’t even know he was coming.”

“and why should we let you see him again?” baekhyun interrogated, hostility clear in the venom of his voice.

“because i’m in love with him.” chanyeol let out a gasp, mouth pursing as he brought both hands up to cradle his face. 

baekhyun smirked, “wanna repeat that?”

“i’m in love with him,” he said, firmer this time. 

chanyeol was trying way too hard to hold back his laughter, “this is literally like watching a k-drama, holy shit.”

junmyeon turned around to see kris standing there, a basketball pressed against his hip. his jaw is hanging stupidly slack, his face a bit flushed and he’s panting from playing with the kids. junmyeon’s heart softened. 

“kris…”

kris shook his head, “not here.”

junmyeon nods, as kris asked the couple to watch the kids. he took junmyeon’s head and they headed toward his kids’ empty classroom. 

the second kris locked the door behind him, junmyeon lets out a quick statement. “i just want to make it clear that i don’t have feelings for him. at all, i swear.”

kris nodded, licking his lips. “did you mean it?”

“mean what?”

“you love me, idiot.”

junmyeon blushed, “you’re such a loser.”

kris made an incredulous noise, “i’m the loser?” they step toward each other. 

junmyeon nodded, a grin breaking on his face, “yeah. i knew the second i saw your spiderman underwear when that boy pulled your shorts down.”

“you  _ saw  _ them?” kris gasped exaggeratedly, making junmyeon giggle.

he nodded, tiptoeing to be at eye level with kris. 

they’re mere inches apart now, kris leaned down. “you still like me, despite the underwear?”

“yeah, i think i do.”

they kissed.

And junmyeon knew everything was perfect.

 

_ end _ .

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah i wrote this for hana for writing my history paper. lmao


End file.
